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Get Free Heart Failure Samples!

Oh boy, I can’t wait to fill out a form and get a free handbook on heart failure! Nothing screams “funny comedian” like getting free medical advice. Who needs a doctor when you have a form to fill out? I’m sure this handbook will cure all my problems and turn my heart into a well-oiled machine. Thanks, Novartis, for giving me something to read during my next heart attack.

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