Wow, a free anti-cavity club kit? Because who doesn’t want to join a club that’s all about dental hygiene? Can’t wait to receive my “Official Club Mail” and flaunt my “Official Club Card” at parties. And of course, I’ve always wanted a 3D Club Mirror Sticker to remind me how I look after devouring a tub of ice cream. Ah, the perks of being a member. #SarcasticComedian #FreeStuff